This Is Just a Reminder...
Maybe not for you but definitely for me
Today is December 31, and I am reflecting. Honestly, I don’t want to. This year has been a hellscape of political stupidity, untimely deaths, and meddlesome religiosity, none of which I am particularly interested in reliving. I can’t escape any of it, however, even though I’ve been trying really hard. It’s usually around 4 am when my brain says something like, “Giiiiiirl! You really need to write about this!” But yeah. I don’t wanna. It’s too heavy.
I mean, I AM going to write about it in 2026, but not on this here last day in the year of our Lord 2025. Nope. Just be advised that I have A LOT to say about A LOT of things, especially why church folks continue to police women’s bodies both in and outside of the church house. If it doesn’t have anything to do with you howsbout you work on your own soul salvation, mmkay?
So, I’m reflecting, not on the year but on where I am now compared to where I once was. I’ve heard it more than a few times over the past week or so that I'm living in answered prayers, and I had to stop and give thanks.
Around this time in 2001, I was sleeping on the floor of an empty apartment. I was a mess, a functioning alcoholic battling depression who ran from an emotionally abusive relationship with nothing but my books and clothes. A few months prior, I had to send my daughter to live with my parents because I could no longer function. I spent most of my days crying, my four-year-old wiping my tears and holding my face, saying, “It’s gonna be okay, mommy.” I survived a failed suicide attempt even after listening to the voices in my head tell me all the reasons why ending my life was the best and only option. And on December 31, I was lying prostrate on my living room floor, bawling.
The prayers I choked out that day, that night, those weeks seemed destined never to come to pass. But somewhere, deep down, I believed that one day, my daughter would come back to live with me. I believed I would have an apartment with furniture, and I would be in a relationship that didn’t make me want to end my life. I believed that, somehow, in this mess I had made of my life, maybe I was redeemable. I couldn’t see how, but God knew I was. How else can I explain the prayers I am currently living in?
And honestly, have been living in since 2005, when my now 28-year-old daughter came back to live with me.
And I became a teacher, and bought a house a year later.
Full of brand new furniture.
And meet my now husband three years after that.
He makes me want to cuss sometimes, but my life is secure in his hands.
Has it all been perfect? Absolutely not. But has God been faithful? Absolutely.
I’m still not quite sure why I found myself reflecting on all this today. Maybe I just needed a reminder that a lot of things suck, but God still answers prayers.
And I’m proof.
Anyway, here’s to a better, brighter, and blessed 2026.
2025 can get the hell on.